Tuesday, December 24, 2013
MJE Presents Alan Dershowitz
On Saturday Night, November 23
I had the honor of presenting Professor Alan Dershowitz to over 600
people as the keynote speaker at MJE’s Annual Ruth B. Wildes' Memorial
Event. We were fortunate to capture the evening on film and so if you
were unable to attend you can still experience some of the magic of the
night. I found much of what Professor Dershowitz said to be truly
pertinent, insightful and inspiring. Enjoy!
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
THE PEW STUDY: A SPIRITUAL LOOK
The
PEW study confirmed what most of us already knew: despite our efforts
to the contrary American Jews continue to assimilate and lose their
Jewish identity. Intermarriage has risen to 58 percent and outside the
orthodox community it’s up to 71 percent. Only 43 percent of American
Jews have ever visited Israel and perhaps the most disturbing
finding to me as a rabbi is that less and less of our people look upon
their Judaism as a faith or a spiritual path for their personnel lives:
62 percent of those polled say being Jewish is mainly a matter of
ancestry and culture, while just 15 percent say it is mainly a matter of
religion.
I
feel like I confront this phenomenon every year when I visit my mother
in law in Boynton Beach, Florida. She lives in a pleasant community
which is approximately 90 percent Jewish, most of who are retirees from
Long Island, Westchester or New Jersey. On each of my trips I’ve gotten
to know a good number of the older people and although many are not
observant most are extremely proud and identified with the Jewish
community. It’s not uncommon to see many of the men wearing large chai
necklaces or hearing woman speak to each other in Yiddish. But when I
get into conversations about their children, there is this huge
disconnect. One after the next I hear about how their children have
assimilated in one way or the other. This one has intermarried, this one
married a Jew but has no affiliation with anything Jewish. One older
gentleman, a Holocaust survivor who I see at services three times a day,
told me his 35 year old son who lives in New York intermarried and so
his grandchildren are not Jewish. Another woman when she heard I direct
MJE pleaded with me to reach out to her daughter who also lives in New
York and regularly dates non-Jewish men. How is there such a gap between
the parents who feel an almost visceral attachment to the Jewish people
and their children who seem so far removed?
Rabbi
Joseph B. Soloveitchick tz”l pointed out that the first two biblical
personalities to live in exile were Jacob and then later his son Joseph.
Jacob was forced to run away from his brother Esau and spend the
next twenty years living with his Uncle Laban away from his ancestral
home in Israel. Joseph was also taken from his family and brought down
to Egypt and spent the rest of his life in a foreign land outside of the
land of Israel.
However
each of their experiences was radically different. Jacob spent his
time in exile on the run and then in a difficult working situation with
Laban whereas Joseph’s life in exile was characterized by prominence and
affluence. But both remained committed to the monotheistic beliefs and
traditions of their forbears. In doing so, Rabbi Soloveitchick taught,
each was to model a different type of existence for us living in exile
years later. Jacob’s life in exile was, in the words of the Rav, “to
prove that the Torah is realizable in poverty and oppression, that the
immigrant-no matter how hard he has to work for his livelihood, no
matter how poor and oppressed he is-is capable, if he makes up his mind,
to give devotion and loyalty to his ancestral tradition”.
Joseph’s
mission on the other hand continues Rabbi Soloveitchick, Joseph’s life
“was to demonstrate that enormous success, unlimited riches,
admiration, prominence and power are not in conflict with a saintly
covenantal life”. Thus, both Jacob and Joseph’s life in exile teach us
that no matter what kind of situation we found ourselves in, our Jewish
identity can nonetheless be maintained.
So
what happened to our community here in the United States? How is it
that parents who have such a strong Jewish identity and feeling for
their own Judaism have been unable to transmit that to their own
children?
There
are many answers but the most obvious has to do with Jewish education.
To no fault of their own, most of our parents and grandparents never
received a substantive Jewish education. Without that knowledge and
specifically an understanding of the mitzvoth, their ability to transmit
the values they so felt in their own home growing up was severely
compromised.
Mitzvoth
are not merely rituals. They are vehicles through which we communicate
and transmit our most cherished values to the next generation. Any
parent knows that if they want their child to develop a certain value or
belief they need to convey it in a concrete and tangible way. If you
want to raise a child to be thoughtful, the parent needs to model that
behavior by engaging in acts of kindness and charity. When a child sees
his or her parents volunteering time for a cause or writing a check to
an organization, that conveys the values of selflessness and
giving. A few years back one of our donors called me to tell me his son
was coming over to deliver his annual donation to MJE. I told him he
didn’t have to bother sending over his son, that he could simply put the
check in the mail, but he said, “I want my son to see that I’m giving
some of my hard earned money away to charity so that one day he will do
the same”. And I can tell you, he probably will.
Children
most often don’t listen to what their parents say, but they certainly
notice what we do. If I want my kids to study Torah the last thing I
should do is preach about it. However when they see their mother or
father taking time out of their busy schedule to attend a class or open
up a Jewish book, that goes a lot further than all the preaching in the
world. Talk is cheap and kids know it and that’s why Torah is
mitzvah-centered.
Mitzvoth
are actions and behaviors through which we communicate and transmit our
most fundamental and most cherished values and beliefs. We convey our
belief in God and in His creation of world by observing Shabbat. We
transmit the importance of spending quality time with our family and
community by shutting down the world around us and having festive meals.
We transmit the Jewish value of gratitude by reciting blessings before
and after we eat. We give over the Jewish trait of being open to others
by engaging in hachnasat orchim and opening our homes to others.
We convey our belief that God responds to His people’s cries for help by
celebrating Passover and we transmit the belief that He gave us the
Torah by observing Shavuot. We teach our children that God sustains us
by going out of our homes and sitting in huts on Succot and we convey
the power of speech and the idea that what we say in life matters is
transmitted through the laws of lashon hara. The Jewish values of
humility and modesty are expressed by the way we dress and speak and by
the way present ourselves to others. On Chanukah we can sit around and
talk about the Macabees and how they fought to preserve the Torah in the
face of Greek persecution but if we want to ensure that that story
lives on, that our children will one day tell the Chanukah story to
their children then we need to light a candle. We need to perform a
ritual. We need to engage in an activity. We need to do a mitzvah if we
want to successfully transmit our beliefs and our values to the next
generation. Otherwise much of our feelings and genuine sentiments for
Judaism get lost in translation.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
My Beloved Rebbe: A tribute to Rabbi Joseph Grunblatt tz”l
This past Shabbat, November 23, my beloved mentor and Rebbe, Rabbi Joseph
Grunblatt, of blessed memory, passed away. The impact this great rabbinic
figure had on my life is almost impossible to put into words but he meant
too much for me not to try.
Rabbi Grunblatt was my Rabbi since the very day I was born. He assumed the
position as Rabbi of the Queens Jewish Center (QJC) in Forest Hills, Queens
where I am from, shortly before I was born in July of 1967. As he always
liked to say, my bris (circumcision) was the first simcha in the community
at which he officiated. He was similarly there for me at my bar-mitzvah, my
rabbinic ordination, my wedding, my mother’s funeral, and at all of my sons'
britot.
As far as I can remember our family was close with Rabbi Grunblatt. My
parents admired him greatly and treated the Rabbi and his Rebbetzin with the
utmost respect. We spent Shabbat meals at each other’s homes and I
especially loved delivering mishloach manot (food baskets) to the
Grunblatt’s on Purim because they would let each child pick their favorite
plastic toy.
Rabbi Grunblatt hailed from Leipzig, Germany but spent his formative years
studying in London, England at the Eitz Chayim Yeshiva under the great Torah
scholar and ethicist Rabbi Elyah Lopian, whom he often quoted in his
sermons. In the United States, Rabbi Grunblatt studied at a number of
Yeshivot, most notably Torah Vodath where he received his rabbinic
ordination. He taught Jewish Philosophy at Touro College for many decades
and lectured throughout the country.
As a boy I could tell by the way everyone spoke of the Rabbi that he was a
serious scholar but I never really knew it for myself until I was about 18.
I had just returned from a year of Torah study in Israel and I decided to
remain in the synagogue for one of his sermons (I usually ran around with my
friends playing “bottle-cap soccer” in the auditorium) and I was blown away.
I realized that this rabbi, my Rabbi, had much to say and wow, could he say
it. I began attending other classes Rabbi Grunblatt was teaching and after
Shabbat I would try to jot down some of his thoughts from the sermon he
delivered that morning. The Rabbi was a master orator who was able to speak
his congregants' language by weaving together the weekly Torah portion with
teachings from some of the great writers and thinkers, Jewish and non-Jewish
alike. Maimonides and Nachmanides were taught alongside Kant and Nietzsche
and somehow a pertinent and relevant message for our generation emerged.
Rabbi Grunblatt's annual Shabbat Shuva (before Passover) lecture drew
hundreds from all over Queens. You had to get there at least 20 minutes
early to guarantee yourself a seat and there was something for everyone. The
Rabbi would usually begin his discourse with a Halachic (Jewish legal)
question which he would trace from the verse in the Torah to the Mishna,
Talmud and Rishonim (early commentators) and then proceed to analyze the
question conceptually using the classic Brisker methodology. He would then
move on to a more philosophical question and approach it using both the
traditional medieval Jewish philosophers as well as general philosophy, both
classic and modern. Then came the Mussar, the ethical lessons and his
message to the community. Now he had everyone's attention. His thesis was
always relevant, powerfully communicated and directed at inspiring his
congregants to take their Jewish observance and ethical living to the next
level. Ultimately his message was taken seriously not only because it was so
well presented and grounded in Torah and scholarship but also because it
came from a man so genuinely humble and free of ego or personal agenda.
To satisfy my internship requirement for rabbinical school I asked Rabbi
Grunblatt if I could start a Beginners Prayer Service for those with less of
a background and whether he would serve as my mentor. The Rabbi graciously
agreed and for the next three years I had the privilege of working under
Rabbi Grunblatt’s guidance at the QJC. I plastered the neighborhood with
flyers and took some ads out in the local papers. On the first week eight
people showed up for the service but the Rabbi was encouraging and
thankfully the minyan started to grow. He would come in towards the end of
the service to share a word of Torah and then served as the “guest lecturer”
at my first Basic Judaism series. He taught me how to kasher a kitchen and
answered my endless halachic questions. But there was one student who I
couldn’t seem to help: A gentleman named Vladamir, a Ph.d in Mathematics
from the University of Leningrad would rise to his feet, almost every
Shabbat at the Beginners Service, and ask me some question relating to math,
physics, science and the Bible. Vladamir was off-the-charts brilliant who
believed in only what could be scientifically proven and I was supposed to
somehow reconcile every discrepancy he saw between modern science and
classical Judaism. I was all of 22 and feeling very unqualified. Somewhat
despondent I asked Rabbi Grunblatt to step in. He met with Vladamir and
after the meeting the Rabbi called me to give some encouragement: “Mark, you
know you did in fact accomplish something positive with Vladamir” “What’s
that”, I asked?: “Well” answered the Rabbi, “before Vladamir started coming
to the Beginners Service he was convinced that only foolish people believed
in God". “well, he still dosen’t believe in God”, continued the Rabbi, “but
now he believes there are intelligent people who do and that is a measure of
success”.
To this day I am convinced Vladamir only said that after he met with Rabbi
Grunblatt.
Rabbi Grunblatt was a rare combination of Yirat Hashem and profound
religiosity on the one hand and intellectual openness on the other. I always
knew it was a rare privilege to be mentored by such an erudite scholar but
what was even more special was his sense of chesed, of kindness and concern
which he displayed for all people and in particular, his congregants. When
an elderly and very proud single congregant refused the rabbi’s offer for
help he called my mother, of blessed memory, to strategize and intervene. He
in turn was there for our family when our mother fell ill and the sadness I
know he himself felt when she died helped to console me. My mother’s
association with and admiration of Rabbi Grunblatt remains another strong
connection that I had with the rabbi and another reason why his passing is
so difficult and personnel for me, not to mention how hard I worked on
trying to impress him.
I so wanted the Rabbi to be proud of me.
I wanted him to know that I was internalizing what he taught me and that his
profound teachings not only had an impact on me but on my students as well.
I wanted him to know that all the time and effort he spent on me would
somehow benefit others. In fact that was the last thing I ever said to him.
I called before Rosh Hashanna to wish the Rabbi a good year and
unfortunately he was in a lot of pain and so I said: “Rabbi I’m so sorry
you’re so uncomfortable and I know you’re not in a position to teach but the
drashot (sermons) I prepared for Rosh Hashanna and Yom Kippur contain so
many of your insights, so much of what you taught me”. He seemed to
appreciate what I said but was having a hard time talking and so I
continued: “Rabbi, you know I would never have been able to teach or know
any of this if it wasn’t for you. Please know that hundreds of my students
at MJE will be hearing your Torah over the next few days”. Clearing his
throat Rabbi Grunblatt responded: “Thank you...be mazliach…I’m very proud”.
I thanked him and told him I loved him and that was the last conversation we
ever had.
I was truly blessed to have Rabbi Grunblatt in my life. Every class I
teach, every sermon I deliver, and every question I try to answer has and
will always be informed by what this great Rabbi taught me. And so he truly
does live on. Tzadikim b’misasan nikra chayim – “The righteous in their
death are still called living”, remarked the Sages of the Talmud. I will
sorely miss my beloved Rebbe but his teachings and life example will live on
forever.
Grunblatt, of blessed memory, passed away. The impact this great rabbinic
figure had on my life is almost impossible to put into words but he meant
too much for me not to try.
Rabbi Grunblatt was my Rabbi since the very day I was born. He assumed the
position as Rabbi of the Queens Jewish Center (QJC) in Forest Hills, Queens
where I am from, shortly before I was born in July of 1967. As he always
liked to say, my bris (circumcision) was the first simcha in the community
at which he officiated. He was similarly there for me at my bar-mitzvah, my
rabbinic ordination, my wedding, my mother’s funeral, and at all of my sons'
britot.
As far as I can remember our family was close with Rabbi Grunblatt. My
parents admired him greatly and treated the Rabbi and his Rebbetzin with the
utmost respect. We spent Shabbat meals at each other’s homes and I
especially loved delivering mishloach manot (food baskets) to the
Grunblatt’s on Purim because they would let each child pick their favorite
plastic toy.
Rabbi Grunblatt hailed from Leipzig, Germany but spent his formative years
studying in London, England at the Eitz Chayim Yeshiva under the great Torah
scholar and ethicist Rabbi Elyah Lopian, whom he often quoted in his
sermons. In the United States, Rabbi Grunblatt studied at a number of
Yeshivot, most notably Torah Vodath where he received his rabbinic
ordination. He taught Jewish Philosophy at Touro College for many decades
and lectured throughout the country.
As a boy I could tell by the way everyone spoke of the Rabbi that he was a
serious scholar but I never really knew it for myself until I was about 18.
I had just returned from a year of Torah study in Israel and I decided to
remain in the synagogue for one of his sermons (I usually ran around with my
friends playing “bottle-cap soccer” in the auditorium) and I was blown away.
I realized that this rabbi, my Rabbi, had much to say and wow, could he say
it. I began attending other classes Rabbi Grunblatt was teaching and after
Shabbat I would try to jot down some of his thoughts from the sermon he
delivered that morning. The Rabbi was a master orator who was able to speak
his congregants' language by weaving together the weekly Torah portion with
teachings from some of the great writers and thinkers, Jewish and non-Jewish
alike. Maimonides and Nachmanides were taught alongside Kant and Nietzsche
and somehow a pertinent and relevant message for our generation emerged.
Rabbi Grunblatt's annual Shabbat Shuva (before Passover) lecture drew
hundreds from all over Queens. You had to get there at least 20 minutes
early to guarantee yourself a seat and there was something for everyone. The
Rabbi would usually begin his discourse with a Halachic (Jewish legal)
question which he would trace from the verse in the Torah to the Mishna,
Talmud and Rishonim (early commentators) and then proceed to analyze the
question conceptually using the classic Brisker methodology. He would then
move on to a more philosophical question and approach it using both the
traditional medieval Jewish philosophers as well as general philosophy, both
classic and modern. Then came the Mussar, the ethical lessons and his
message to the community. Now he had everyone's attention. His thesis was
always relevant, powerfully communicated and directed at inspiring his
congregants to take their Jewish observance and ethical living to the next
level. Ultimately his message was taken seriously not only because it was so
well presented and grounded in Torah and scholarship but also because it
came from a man so genuinely humble and free of ego or personal agenda.
To satisfy my internship requirement for rabbinical school I asked Rabbi
Grunblatt if I could start a Beginners Prayer Service for those with less of
a background and whether he would serve as my mentor. The Rabbi graciously
agreed and for the next three years I had the privilege of working under
Rabbi Grunblatt’s guidance at the QJC. I plastered the neighborhood with
flyers and took some ads out in the local papers. On the first week eight
people showed up for the service but the Rabbi was encouraging and
thankfully the minyan started to grow. He would come in towards the end of
the service to share a word of Torah and then served as the “guest lecturer”
at my first Basic Judaism series. He taught me how to kasher a kitchen and
answered my endless halachic questions. But there was one student who I
couldn’t seem to help: A gentleman named Vladamir, a Ph.d in Mathematics
from the University of Leningrad would rise to his feet, almost every
Shabbat at the Beginners Service, and ask me some question relating to math,
physics, science and the Bible. Vladamir was off-the-charts brilliant who
believed in only what could be scientifically proven and I was supposed to
somehow reconcile every discrepancy he saw between modern science and
classical Judaism. I was all of 22 and feeling very unqualified. Somewhat
despondent I asked Rabbi Grunblatt to step in. He met with Vladamir and
after the meeting the Rabbi called me to give some encouragement: “Mark, you
know you did in fact accomplish something positive with Vladamir” “What’s
that”, I asked?: “Well” answered the Rabbi, “before Vladamir started coming
to the Beginners Service he was convinced that only foolish people believed
in God". “well, he still dosen’t believe in God”, continued the Rabbi, “but
now he believes there are intelligent people who do and that is a measure of
success”.
To this day I am convinced Vladamir only said that after he met with Rabbi
Grunblatt.
Rabbi Grunblatt was a rare combination of Yirat Hashem and profound
religiosity on the one hand and intellectual openness on the other. I always
knew it was a rare privilege to be mentored by such an erudite scholar but
what was even more special was his sense of chesed, of kindness and concern
which he displayed for all people and in particular, his congregants. When
an elderly and very proud single congregant refused the rabbi’s offer for
help he called my mother, of blessed memory, to strategize and intervene. He
in turn was there for our family when our mother fell ill and the sadness I
know he himself felt when she died helped to console me. My mother’s
association with and admiration of Rabbi Grunblatt remains another strong
connection that I had with the rabbi and another reason why his passing is
so difficult and personnel for me, not to mention how hard I worked on
trying to impress him.
I so wanted the Rabbi to be proud of me.
I wanted him to know that I was internalizing what he taught me and that his
profound teachings not only had an impact on me but on my students as well.
I wanted him to know that all the time and effort he spent on me would
somehow benefit others. In fact that was the last thing I ever said to him.
I called before Rosh Hashanna to wish the Rabbi a good year and
unfortunately he was in a lot of pain and so I said: “Rabbi I’m so sorry
you’re so uncomfortable and I know you’re not in a position to teach but the
drashot (sermons) I prepared for Rosh Hashanna and Yom Kippur contain so
many of your insights, so much of what you taught me”. He seemed to
appreciate what I said but was having a hard time talking and so I
continued: “Rabbi, you know I would never have been able to teach or know
any of this if it wasn’t for you. Please know that hundreds of my students
at MJE will be hearing your Torah over the next few days”. Clearing his
throat Rabbi Grunblatt responded: “Thank you...be mazliach…I’m very proud”.
I thanked him and told him I loved him and that was the last conversation we
ever had.
I was truly blessed to have Rabbi Grunblatt in my life. Every class I
teach, every sermon I deliver, and every question I try to answer has and
will always be informed by what this great Rabbi taught me. And so he truly
does live on. Tzadikim b’misasan nikra chayim – “The righteous in their
death are still called living”, remarked the Sages of the Talmud. I will
sorely miss my beloved Rebbe but his teachings and life example will live on
forever.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Not Enough Joy and Meaning
The
recent NY Times article on the newly released PEW findings on Jewish
continuity paints a bleak future for American Jewry. The study, among
other findings, reported that nearly six in ten
Jewish respondents (58%) who have gotten married since 2000, have
married a non-Jewish spouse. The study also showed that only 20 percent
of those who have intermarried are raising their children Jewish by
religion.
There
are, I'm sure, many reasons for this worsening situation including a
serious lack of Jewish education for most American Jews, a more than
ever distracting world in which
living any kind of religious life becomes more challenging, and
many other contributing factors. However I believe there is another
cause, which I have seen in my 20 years of outreach to the young and
less affiliated: the sheer lack of joy or meaning
that so many young Jews associate with Judaism.
More
often than not, the perception young people have of Judaism is of a
faith filled with rules and restrictions which offers little or no joy
or meaning in return.
But
why should young Jews be left with any other impression? When Yom
Kippur continues to be the most celebrated Jewish experience in
synagogue what else should we expect? How
many American Jews are present for the somber Yom Kippur service,
complete with fasting and chest-pounding/forgiveness asking but are
no-where to be found the next week when joyous singing and dancing in
honor of Simchat Torah takes place? That balance of
reverence and joy is vital to keep our interest and it is so
authentically Jewish. In the Temple of old, the Beit Hamikdash, the
feeling on Yom Kippur was one of awe and even trepidation as the High
Priest performed the service to secure atonement for all
of Israel, but the next week that same Temple was filled with a sense
of joy and exuberance during the Simchat Beit Hoshava (water drawing
ceremony) on which which the Talmud tells us:
"Whoever never witnessed the Simchat Beit Hashoeva has never in his life seen true joy."
Like
most synagogues, MJE has always drawn larger numbers for its Yom Kippur
services than for Simchat Torah. This year however, for the very first
time, we had approximately the same number of participants for
both holidays.
It took us 15 years but we did it. The same number of previously less
affiliated 20's/30's who were willing to fast and pray with us on Yom
Kippur returned to sing and dance
with us on Simchat Torah.
Young
Jews desperately need to experience both the serious and lighter sides
of Judaism. We can no longer allow our beloved faith to be marketed as a
religion of guilt and restriction without even trying to
present it for what it truly is: a path which can ultimately bring joy
and meaning to contemporary life. And we must learn to properly
articulate how the limitations Judaism
does place on our lives are important in helping to create that more joyous and meaningful existence.
The goal of our synagogues and Jewish institutions today must be to demonstrate this balance of reverence and joy; fealty to tradition with personnel meaning and relevance. Jewish educators need to be better trained to invest more explanation and inspiration into our prayer services and provide greater depth and insight as to how living a life of Torah can actually improve our lives and make us happier and more fulfilled people.
Otherwise, for most American Jews, why bother?
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Israel: The Power to Inspire
After just completing MJE's Annual Trip to Israel I've got much to say about
this place and its impact on those who visit. Between our two groups there
were about forty participants in their 20's/30's. We traveled from up north
in the Golan and the mystical city of Tzfat (home to Kabbalah) to Jerusalem. We spent time visiting holy sites such as The Kotel (Wailing Wall), the City of David and the holy city of Hebron. And though this is the thirteenth consecutive year I have led this trip, with some of the same sites year after year, Israel never fails to inspire me.
The breathtaking views we saw as we hiked the waterfalls in the Golan, the magical and mystical feeling of Tzfat as we walked the narrow passageways, and the extraordinary archeology and spirituality of Jerusalem filled us all, newcomer and veteran alike, with a sense of awe, history and purpose that no other "Jewish experience" can match.
What is it the power of this country to inspire? A power that has propelled
today's most important Jewish philanthropists to invest 100 million dollars
per annum on the most ambitious outreach project ever-- Birthright Israel.
There are many factors that contribute to the awesome impact Israel has on
us all. The youth, vibrancy and fast paced growth of this young country are
just so compelling. Everywhere you go there is building and construction;
young people come from all over the world and settle the land. I spent
this past Shabbat in Ranana visiting my cousins who made aliyah, only to see
thousands of others in their community who have done the same. More singles
and families keep coming, building beautiful homes and bringing a spirit
that is simply contagious.
Israel will never fail to inspire because it has got the goods, and I don't
mean Israel's phenomenal technology and innovation. It's got that too and
yet another source of pride (my kids were blown away by Tel Aviv's
skyscrapers) but more importantly it's got our history and heritage right
here for us to see, feel and touch.
The sense of Jewish pride one feels when seeing a chayal, an Israeli
soldier, patrolling a street, also makes a huge impact. We brought our group
as we do each year to an army base and we had lunch with the soldiers.
"Strong but humble" would be the best way to describe the special people we
met there. You felt in these young men a definitive sense of pride and
purpose in defending their country, without the glorification of war or
violence that often goes hand in hand. You felt that under better
circumstances these soldiers would prefer to be somewhere else but given the
reality there's nowhere else they'd want to be. At the end of our visit I
gathered our group together with the soldiers at the base to recite the
mishebereach l'chayayalei tzahal, the blessing we say each Shabbat for the
IDF, and as I began, one soldier put his hand on the head of another soldier
who didn't have a helmet or kippah. He responded to the prayer by saying
amen and then a sweet thank you, to which I responded: "no, thank YOU, not
only for your service but for filling us with such pride".
Despite these wondrous experiences, I still must say that what I believe most profoundly impacts the Jewish "visitor" to Israel is the realness. As I said to our group at Shabbat Dinner as we sat overlooking the Kotel, so much of the Judaism we grew up with in America sounds like fairytales; sweet stories of our ancestors and heritage that may or may not be real or true at all. But when you come to Israel and you walk the streets, you touch the stones, you see the archeology and for the first time you are presented with some kind of real physical imagery of these stories. It all starts to come alive. As the old T-Shirts used to read: "Israel is Real".
Our history literally is this place. It's not just a nice story. And so for the diaspora Jew, Israel is the ultimate authentication and validation of Jewish history and of our Jewish heritage, and THAT impacts us.
That, my friends, is inspiring no matter how many times you see it.
this place and its impact on those who visit. Between our two groups there
were about forty participants in their 20's/30's. We traveled from up north
in the Golan and the mystical city of Tzfat (home to Kabbalah) to Jerusalem. We spent time visiting holy sites such as The Kotel (Wailing Wall), the City of David and the holy city of Hebron. And though this is the thirteenth consecutive year I have led this trip, with some of the same sites year after year, Israel never fails to inspire me.
The breathtaking views we saw as we hiked the waterfalls in the Golan, the magical and mystical feeling of Tzfat as we walked the narrow passageways, and the extraordinary archeology and spirituality of Jerusalem filled us all, newcomer and veteran alike, with a sense of awe, history and purpose that no other "Jewish experience" can match.
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| My wife, myself, and two MJE participants on the bus going to see the sights! |
What is it the power of this country to inspire? A power that has propelled
today's most important Jewish philanthropists to invest 100 million dollars
per annum on the most ambitious outreach project ever-- Birthright Israel.
There are many factors that contribute to the awesome impact Israel has on
us all. The youth, vibrancy and fast paced growth of this young country are
just so compelling. Everywhere you go there is building and construction;
young people come from all over the world and settle the land. I spent
this past Shabbat in Ranana visiting my cousins who made aliyah, only to see
thousands of others in their community who have done the same. More singles
and families keep coming, building beautiful homes and bringing a spirit
that is simply contagious.
Israel will never fail to inspire because it has got the goods, and I don't
mean Israel's phenomenal technology and innovation. It's got that too and
yet another source of pride (my kids were blown away by Tel Aviv's
skyscrapers) but more importantly it's got our history and heritage right
here for us to see, feel and touch.
The sense of Jewish pride one feels when seeing a chayal, an Israeli
soldier, patrolling a street, also makes a huge impact. We brought our group
as we do each year to an army base and we had lunch with the soldiers.
"Strong but humble" would be the best way to describe the special people we
met there. You felt in these young men a definitive sense of pride and
purpose in defending their country, without the glorification of war or
violence that often goes hand in hand. You felt that under better
circumstances these soldiers would prefer to be somewhere else but given the
reality there's nowhere else they'd want to be. At the end of our visit I
gathered our group together with the soldiers at the base to recite the
mishebereach l'chayayalei tzahal, the blessing we say each Shabbat for the
IDF, and as I began, one soldier put his hand on the head of another soldier
who didn't have a helmet or kippah. He responded to the prayer by saying
amen and then a sweet thank you, to which I responded: "no, thank YOU, not
only for your service but for filling us with such pride".
Despite these wondrous experiences, I still must say that what I believe most profoundly impacts the Jewish "visitor" to Israel is the realness. As I said to our group at Shabbat Dinner as we sat overlooking the Kotel, so much of the Judaism we grew up with in America sounds like fairytales; sweet stories of our ancestors and heritage that may or may not be real or true at all. But when you come to Israel and you walk the streets, you touch the stones, you see the archeology and for the first time you are presented with some kind of real physical imagery of these stories. It all starts to come alive. As the old T-Shirts used to read: "Israel is Real".
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| The Chief Rabbi of Jerusalem and I as I asked him questions during "Rabbi Roundtable." |
Our history literally is this place. It's not just a nice story. And so for the diaspora Jew, Israel is the ultimate authentication and validation of Jewish history and of our Jewish heritage, and THAT impacts us.
That, my friends, is inspiring no matter how many times you see it.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Love, the Jewish Way: On Relationships & Sexuality in Modern Times
With
the recent passing of Tu B'av I was inspired to write about the
important role Judaism holds in relationships, not only on holidays but
every day. Many people today question the certainty
of their feelings and their ability to truly trust in others. Is it
worth the risks of heartache and potential rejection? We struggle to
understand the importance God has placed on intimate connections. Many
men and women today are conflicted with feelings
of solitude and the fear of "settling down," and losing ones
independence, on the other.
A number of years back there was a NY Times article which discussed the current dating scene for the many 20’s and 30’s of New York City. The article discussed how on one hand many people in this age group are looking for real relationships, not just a one night stand, but on the other hand still value their independence and not having to commit to one person on a permanent basis. I was having this conversation with a colleague, Rabbi Ari Berman, who said that to defeat the sense of existential loneliness we naturally posses, we must be with someone who both understands and accepts us for who we are. However being in a relationship with someone who really "gets you" can only happen if you’re willing to open yourself up so the other can understand you and more importantly, accept you for who you really are. The only way for that to happen is to expose and reveal oneself so that the other person can truly know you.
We find this very idea
symbolized in the Torah in Genesis where Adam and Eve find themselves
naked in the Garden of Eden; the idea that they had totally exposed
themselves to one another, making themselves vulnerable
and open to one another. This is why a relationship can ultimately only
take place within the context of a committed relationship.
For who is
willing to reveal one’s most intimate secrets to someone who may
disclose them to another person the next week? Who is going to confide
in another and expose themselves unless they feel secure with that
person? And so truly opening oneself up to another can
only realistically take place within the context of a committed
relationship. That’s one of the reasons why Judaism promotes marriage so
much because marriage sets up a very high level of commitment within
which people can feel comfortable sharing and revealing
their true selves so ultimately they can feel understood and accepted.
And herein lies the spiritual connection to sexuality. The Torah says: "and Adam knew Chava his wife and she conceived". Sex is just
another way of knowing
another, of revealing ones true self to the other but once again, only
after a safe and committed environment has been
established. Judaism considers that "environment" marriage. Marriage
allows for the ultimate revelation since it sets up a kind of safe
house, within which the couple can feel comfortable exposing their true
selves and in doing so connect on the deepest level.
In our society sex is often viewed as a gauge, one of the many
determining factors of a choice of mate. The Torah on the other hand
sees sex as a powerful and holy instrument, not to determine if the
other is "the right one", but to bond man and woman
after they
have made a commitment to one another. This view of marriage helps
ensure that sex is not merely a physical act but a holy one which
elevates a relationship in a way almost nothing else can.
We return to our original question: Can we have a real and meaningful relationships without making a commitment and losing
some of our independence? Probably not, but like anything else valuable in life, it's worth the sacrifice.
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| Rabbi Mark officiating at MJE Couple Jen and Gaby Minsky's Wedding |
Monday, July 29, 2013
Shalom
Shalom uvrucha!
Hello and welcome! My name is Rabbi Mark Wildes. I am the Founder/Director of Manhattan
Jewish Experience, a
cutting edge program for young Jewish professionals in their 20's and
30's, with less of a background in Judaism
but who are interested in connecting more to each other, to the
community, and to Judaism itself. MJE is a place where young men and
women can explore Jewish life and meet new people. We run a wide range
of inclusive, engaging and innovative programs for thousands
of young Jewish professionals, including parties,
an annual ski
trip, classes, beginner
prayer services, marching in the Israel
day parade, Friday
night dinners and
much much more. MJE was founded in memory of my late Ruth
B. Wildes z"l
who
was known for her warmth, hospitality and her expanding Shabbat table
at which everyone was made to feel like a member of our family.
This blog seeks to cover topics that are relevant to young Jewish professionals and every week or so I will be publishing my thoughts on topics such as health and happiness, food, philanthropy, professional advancement, sexuality, relationships, style, and of course upcoming events at MJE. My focus will be to relate as to how these topics are relevant not only to the teachings of Judaism but how we can use what the Torah teaches to better our everyday lives when it comes to these subjects and more. I welcome not only your feedback but your suggestions on these issues. In the coming days, please tell me what you'd like to see more of, less of, anything that is of interest to you, or just leave a comment about how you think I'm doing. Everything will be considered and appreciated. Thanks so much and I look forward to undertaking this journey with you all.
--Rabbi Mark
This blog seeks to cover topics that are relevant to young Jewish professionals and every week or so I will be publishing my thoughts on topics such as health and happiness, food, philanthropy, professional advancement, sexuality, relationships, style, and of course upcoming events at MJE. My focus will be to relate as to how these topics are relevant not only to the teachings of Judaism but how we can use what the Torah teaches to better our everyday lives when it comes to these subjects and more. I welcome not only your feedback but your suggestions on these issues. In the coming days, please tell me what you'd like to see more of, less of, anything that is of interest to you, or just leave a comment about how you think I'm doing. Everything will be considered and appreciated. Thanks so much and I look forward to undertaking this journey with you all.
--Rabbi Mark
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